We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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