Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
