i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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