apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
