after a month anything with tits is on the radar
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
