don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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