Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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