im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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