Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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