Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
