I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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