btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize