I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
