My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
