Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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