Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Someone came in the potted fern
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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