can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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