yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize