woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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