did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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