I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
