I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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