So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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