White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
