just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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