there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize