Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
