Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
