He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
