guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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