i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
