Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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