everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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