And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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