Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
