Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
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I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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