She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
