She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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