There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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