I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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