my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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