the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
