Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
