its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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