My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
