I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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