I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
