You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I could fuck to npr.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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