those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
