how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
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