If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
