omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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