after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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