party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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