Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I need moral support for this bender
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
