somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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